A Sephora Haul Or: How I'm Attempting To Be A Lifestyle Blogger During This Nightmare Trash Dump
I’ve tried to write this post for 3 weeks. It’s just been sitting on my To Do List for all that time, rotting away while the rest of the world slowly starts to rot with it. Surprise! It’s a Sephora Haul. As someone who has limited money to spend on things that aren’t bills or food or toothpaste or underwear when I shit myself after reading the news again, I make a big makeup purchase twice a year---either on my birthday or after the holidays, when financially secure people throw me a gift card like a dog gets a piece of turkey at dinner. And I wanted to talk about that purchase so I can give you helpful makeup tips, but do people really give a fuck right now? I’m not sure they do when we’re about two minutes away from mass arresting National Parks. I’m not talking about National Parks employees who tweet about climate change and science. I’m talking about parks in general. Arrest the parks! Why the hell not? They’re lying about how hot they are! Arrest newspapers! Arrest non-sentient objects who can’t willfully object to the nonsense I have to hear about from the moment I wake up to the moment I try to fall asleep with a hearty dose of gin or melatonin.
Sorry. I’m frustrated. I’m angry. And yes, I’m a little scared. But what about my Sephora purchase?!
It’s hard for me to be anything but dismayed right now. Really. It’s hard for me to be business as usual, especially because my business can sometimes be silly stuff like lipstick, which I do love but will not help in any way to rid the world of HR 7. And this stuff is just heavy on my mind as a woman and a Latina and a human being who believes in things like science and decency and honesty and will jump off a trampoline to snap her leg in half if she has to hear about e-mails. Ever. Again.
So I don’t really know what to do with my writing, especially when I decided to start a fucking lifestyle blog in 2016---of all the years I could have possibly done so. I have a lot to say, and also very little grace to say it in a way that I think will be helpful at the moment. That takes time. I can guarantee you I’m reading and thinking and engaging with this stuff most of the day. I talk and donate and make phone calls and all the things I feel like I can reasonably do as a citizen. But I also understand the need to take quick, five-minute breathers from this waking nightmare. Especially if you’re one of those people who is really, really at danger here, and has been in danger of these things long before November. These are the people who are going, “there you all are!” and have certainly mastered the idea of the balancing act well before the rest of us got on board. And I do take moments to breathe, to sit and step away from the news and stop fashioning my burlap sack Scarecrow mask in case we’re all getting doused with the FEAR TOXIN from Batman Begins. We all should. You don’t get an award for reading your Twitter feed for 24 straight hours while shouting. And while self-care can sometimes get overindulgent—an excuse to disengage instead of a mental health reboot—it’s up to you to determine if you’re making excuses or not. But man, do we need a break. Just look at Twitter the one precious 2-hour block The Bachelor is on. That show isn’t for me, though, so I’ll utilize tv breaks for The Real Housewives and obviously Riverdale on the CW.
But my point: Yes, you’re still allowed to read about this stuff. And yes, I’ll talk about this stuff occasionally when I so choose to, while still keeping my eyes open, but for now I’m just dipping my toes in the water. See how it feels. So okay, now that's all out of the way: here’s my LONG-AWAITED (lol) Sephora haul, for those who just want their brain to relax for one moment today:
Alterna Haircare Caviar CC Cream For Hair 10-in-1 Complete Correction: This is one of the few hair products I swear by. The water in my apartment is really hard, so I find that my hair tends to get dry unless I take really good care of it. I put about 2 pumps of this onto my damp ass head and it gets rid of frizziness, makes my hair softer, dries my curls into a more manageable spiral (when I apply another curl crème on top of it) and generally just makes it feels nice and soft. No way does it do 10 things like it says because no hair product can do 10 things. I think it’s claim of “uv protection” sounds suspect, but I don’t know anything about hair science. It’s also good as a heat protectant if you blow dry or straighten your hair! It has a light smell, which is reminiscent of every salon conditioner they’ve ever slathered on my head. It’s a small bottle, but I think it lasts, because the pump doesn’t give out a lot of product.
Sephora Collection Cream Lip Stain in Pink Frosting: This is my favorite lipstick formula of all time, and for 14.00, it’s one of the cheaper Sephora lipsticks out there. This shit lasts. When I found out they released a bunch of new colors, I had to try one in my new favorite lipstick color: grey-pink. Pink Frosting is grey pink. It’s just as great as I remember.
NEST Midnight Fleur Perfume: This is my favorite scent but I ran out of it months ago and I haven’t refilled it because it’s 72.00. So for the last few months, sorry to all my friends who had to smell my natural stink or some Bath and Body Works MIST. Try this instead! It smells like Vanilla went to a campfire and they started throwing some jasmine flowers into the campfire because it was some weird cult. It’s that good mix of sweet and musky, which is my jam and my personality, except I’m really just musty. NEST also claims this is a sensual scent, which I am not in the slightest.
Clinique Take The Day Off Cleaning Balm: I’ve been wanting this for a while because I usually use Philosophy oil to take my makeup off and then my eyes start getting blurry and I get oil all over my bathroom floor. This has the texture of coconut oil when it solidifies, and then kind of melts when you rub it on the skin, but it doesn’t drip. I was a little hesitant to buy it because I’ve had some mild irritation to some Clinique products, but this one didn’t have any of the ingredients that usually bother me. Glad I bought it! This takes my makeup off without taking off my eyelashes (when something irritates my eyes, at least 3 eyelashes come off when I use it for the first time, then I don’t use it again). It smells like olive oil and works quickly. You need barely any to make this work, so it will go a long way, too.
First Aid Beauty Hello FAB Coconut Skin Smoothie Priming Moisturizer: I have loved First Aid Beauty ever since I had a terrible reaction to Benefit’s The Porefessional and broke out in a face rash. When I went to Sephora, they recommended this skin care line to calm the rash and it worked SO WELL. Now I don’t use any pore-filling primers, which can make a smooth foundation base a pain sometimes. Until this! I love it so far. It smells like cherry chapstick, not coconut, and it does have some micro-glitter that is more apparent on a hand swatch than on your face. That kind of Edward Cullen look isn’t my thing, but this doesn’t do that. It simply creates a luminous base that allows makeup to go on smoothly and keeps your skin feeling moisturized. One caveat: it dries pretty tacky, so if you really hate that feeling or don’t use any powder at all, you might not love this product.
Deluxe Samples with Points//Free Online Samples (Because I used up all my saved points):
Urban Decay Vice Lipstick in Venom: Plum Color. Nice formula. Small lipsticks are too annoying, and I don’t know why I waste my points on them.
Fresh Vitamin Nectar Vibrancy Boosting Face Mask: Feels and looks and smells like orange marmalade. Hard to wash off. Dries out my skin, and totally not for me.
Dior DiorShow Mascara: I….hate this. It felt dry when I took the wand out, and it barely coated my lashes. Maybe I got a fluke? The best mascara is Cover Girl Super Sizer Mascara, and I refuse to spend money on anything else at the moment.
Now if you have extra money around, donate to Planned Parenthood and the ACLU before you hit the Sephora shelves, okay?