My Favorite Trader Joe's Products
I love grocery shopping because I love eating in my own home so nobody can watch me. And most of the time, I go to stores near my house so I can start grubbin' nearly instantly. But every once and a while, I take a subway ride, gripping my reusable bag and a fleeting sense of hope that there will be no lines, and I go to Trader Joe’s. Everybody loves Trader Joe’s. It’s cheap, it’s full of pumpkin stuff and condiments and hummus and they can fit like 5 million people in one aisle. When I was eating their delicious offerings the other day, I remembered how much I like their products like a know-it-all. And I also love recommendations of what to buy from there, so I can schedule more trips. So a) here's my stupid list and b) don’t forget to comment and tell me what you love, too so I can go there and get sick from all the different suggestions.
Organic Brown Rice & Quinoa Fusilli Pasta
I’m not gluten-free by any stretch, but I love brown rice because of its nuttier flavor and texture so I thought I’d try that. Man, this pasta delivers. I think it makes heartier pastas even tastier. And it cooks in no time! I bet it's "super" "healthy."
Whole Milk Ricotta
I don’t eat a lot of cheese anymore because I think it breaks me out, but when I do, I buy this. I make a mean spinach lasagna with this and it is great on homemade white pizza. Or a dollop of this on top of my cauliflower alfredo with some lemon zest grated over it is insanneeee. Or out of the spoon. Also if you DO eat cheese, the goat cheese rolled in blueberries or the truffle cheddar is an outstanding addition to any appetizer plate or the ole eat off the cheese block in the middle of the night. I miss them.
I keep this PIE in my freezer because when I have friends over for a wine/appetizer thing, it totally makes me look like I have my life together. You know, it’s funny when people say that. Why would anyone in the world think I have my life together? Arancini balls are a close “heat and serve to friends” second. Actually, all of their frozen foods are bonkers and delicious. You cannot go wrong with anyone. Especially the gluten-free chicken nuggets.
Fire Roasted Bell Peppers And Onions
The frozen veggies section is the place I go when I am too lazy to think about picking up a knife. Knife so heavy. No pick up big knife. And sometimes, it feels stupid to buy things I could just get in the produce section. But this is FIRE ROASTED, and I can’t always get those because I don’t have a grill and I am also bad with fire, like Frankenstein. So this is a great addition to pizzas, hot sandwiches, that Cajun pasta dish people like to make, and pretty much any fajita or taco dish you enjoy.
Himalayan Salt With Truffles
YO! LOOK ME IN THE EYE and say you will buy this when it comes into the stores. Ask the employees nicely but with very serious intention. This is a seasonal product. It is not around forever, and I think it hits shelves in November. Buy like 30 of them if you see them, because Truffle Salt is DELICIOUS and EXPENSIVE. It is amazing on top of nearly anything. And if you try to take some from the Union Square Trader Joe’s and I happen to be there, I will elbow you in the eye if you try to grab them from me.
Pure Bourbon Vanilla Extract
This is the best and most affordable vanilla I’ve ever had the pleasure of buying. I mostly put it in my coffee because I’m scared of baking things now that I don’t have a cooling rack anymore.
Organic Garlic Infused Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Olive oil is cheaper at Trader Joe’s. This one tastes like garlic, which is fantastic because sometimes I don’t want to burn my garlic and then have to start all over again with the oil in the pan. And sometimes I don’t want my fingers to smell. So I use this, and it’s pretty good.
Cut Butternut Squash
I love making things with butternut squash. I like making roasted butternut squash, I LOVE making risotto with it, and I’m cool with roasting it and pretending like it’s good without pasta and cream. But! One time, I was making a sandwich and I cut my fingernail off. I get stabby with the knives. i can't be too trusted with them. I am terrified of chopping the giant, thick-skinned squash that is shaped like an idiot. So I buy this instead.
Spicy Dill Flavored Kettle Cooked Chips
So Trader Joe’s ripped out my stupid worthless heart and stomped on it by getting rid of my favorite Horseradish Ridged Chips. These are also pretty good. I always buy bags of stupid chips every time I go there. And now I buy these.
Sweet Chili Sauce
I make a lot of romaine lettuce wraps for lunch, because I’m a boring piece of dog crap. What I do: take a giant romaine lettuce leaf, heat rice that’s in my fridge in the lettuce wrap, add another vegetable (kale, corn, cut up peppers), and add sweet chili sauce and sriracha on it. So I know A LITTLE BIT about SWEET CHILI SAUCE. And this is one of the best.
Vegetable Fried Rice WITH Vegetable Dumplings
This is a completely vegan, delicious thing to make with the also vegan vegetable dumplings. They are my favorite frozen meal at Trader Joe’s, when eaten together as friends. Whenever I get home from a vacation or a weekend away, I make these two things. They are easy to cook and taste like you are getting takeout without getting takeout. And because I usually get back from vacation full of crap food, I enjoy making this very much.
Two Buck Chuck
Aka Charles Shaw Wine cuz we’ve all been YOUNG AND DRUNK
Honorable Mentions: any of the raviolis, the reduced sodium soy sauce, the olive oil spray, the Mediterranean hummus, the uncured turkey bacon, the mini peanut butter cups, and the sweet potato fries
Do Not Like: Soy Chorizo (too salty), Cookie Butter (will eat all of it), their Sriracha sauce