The Hocus Pocus Drinking Game!
Well, it's finally here: the culmination of Halloween, the weekend we'll all get the sugars and walk around in polyester, trying not to throw up our clotted Bailey's and schnapps shots. The only time of year a person asking me "what are you?!" doesn't refer to what ethnicity or race I am. The amateur hour where people wear cheap black lipstick purchased from the drugstore because they haven't heard of Kat Von D's Everlasting Liquid Lip in Witches (This isn't just for the holidays, people. This is my damn life.) And of course, the last breathing moments of ABC-Family-turned-Freeform's 13 Days of Halloween, which is actually just 5 children's movies, over and over and over again on an eternal loop. Listen. I don't want to talk much about Freeform's name change. I'm not over it. Why would I get over betrayal?
Let's move on.
I might not have a costume this year (although I might wear sweatpants and tell my friends I am Channing Tatum from Magic Mike), but I'll still get into the holiday spirit in some ways. I'll probably eat chocolate. I'll probably drink red wine and tell everybody it's blood. And I will DEFINITELY watch Hocus Pocus. Hocus Pocus is a pretty decent Halloween movie about witches and also one I'm required to watch every October, regardless of whether I like it or not. I do mostly love it, even though it sort of makes light of child murder and the older I get, the more I realize that's a serious matter. I mean, I like the Sanderson Sisters, but let's not forget they are monsters who suck the souls out of children. WELL. It's is for a reason.. the eternal quest to stay young makes us do wild things. I understand this, as a person who is learning that age just brings stomachaches and bills. But perhaps Origins or Philosophy skincare should bottle the essence of children in a safe manner and sell it at Sephora. That could be a better bet.
Anyway, I've seen this movie at least 2 times a year since I was 13, so I've seen it enough times at this point to create a drinking game for it, because we can't have nice things without burying ourselves in a depressant that makes things more fun. I've included it here. It's not the "ultimate" drinking game--I'm a writer and I have to include jokes so it's almost a little opulent in that way. And many sites have done drinking games that include "drink when you they say yabbos," because come on. That's not a real word, especially not a real word that young Thora Birch should say.
But here it is! Drink some mulled wine or apple cider or B positive before you go out or because you don't want to go out, you want to stay inside and watch a movie. And as always, enjoy Hocus Pocus, you witchy-child-murderer-sympathizers and virgins! Also: were you more into the Binx ghost or the Casper ghost as a kid? I was more of a Casper girl myself.
Happy Halloweekend! Mwahaha.